Jonathan Aquino Jonathan Aquino
Jonathan Aquino is the author of "Fisherboy," "Why The World Needs Heroes," "A Celebration of Life" and "The Way To Inner Peace," all published by Smashwords. His stories, essays, articles and poetry have appeared in various international anthologies, literary websites, citizen journalism websites and various major newspapers and magazines. His plays have aired on national radio in his home country, the Philippines.
Divine Comedy
By Jonathan Aquino
I.
"This is a ghost town."
So said Satan at the top
of the stairway to heaven.
Cool as a breeze he came in,
and saw the sign: "No Smoking!"
“What the hell is this?”
he said as he rued:
Only fools create rules!
II.
Near the gym, a choir was in practice.
A cherubim was singing "In My Life"
and the others follow acapella.
“The Beatles,” a seraphim said to him.
He smiled and deadpanned:
“I hate rock and roll.”
But nobody knew what he meant.
III.
He saw The Almighty in the courtyard,
“Hey Bruce!” he crowed, waving,
innocently humming
"One Of Us" by Sheryl Crow.
“Don’t call Me that!” God snapped.
“What's wrong with Thou, anyhow?” he asked.
God ignored him, looking at Jonah drowning,
and tugged at His left earring
and a sperm whale ejaculated from the sea.
IV.
“You what?” asked God later
as he heard the scheme over
hot choco and corned beef sandwiches.
“That’s the most ridiculous thing,”
said the Lord, “since Vatican!”
The Devil cannot be distracted,
he’s in debate: “Look,” he said,
“feed a dog and he won’t bite you,
but feed a man and he will.”
And for no reason he added:
“Rabies!”
“You stole that idea from Sam Clemens!”
scolded the Lord.
“Who?” the devil asked, floored.
“Mark Twain,” God explained,
and conceded with His voice low:
“Sounds more elegant though.”
V.
"Wait," God cleared His throat.
"Let Me get this straight:
you want Me to let you
do that thing you wanna do?"
And the Devil replied:
“What are we in power for?”
God shrugged and said: "True."
He squinted and asked:
“Did you ever realize
you’re the only politician in Paradise?”
He was silent for a moment.
"This doesn't make sense," he said.
He mused more and added:
"But I wonder what will happen?"
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