Poetry: Shrimoyee Chattopadhyay

Shrimoyee Chattopadhyay

Finally, after all these years
I have learned to love myself, to live for my own self
Honestly, I am still not used to it
And it feels a li'l uncomfortable
This is because, I have always prioritised you before me
But as I venture into self-love
It feels something new, something special
And I am going with the flow.
All the love that got wasted on each of you
The love that was never reciprocated
Will now be put to the best use!
The tears that I shed after each heart-break
The lonely nights, the self harm
All that had to stop someday!
Well, you may not be too happy to know
But now, I only shed happy tears
I wake up every morning
To give myself another chance to live
Self-care and self-pamper are now essential parts of my daily routine
I am learning, I am healing.
It's not easy to forget all those memories
That I spent with you all
But now when I look back
There is more pain than love
And, so, I decided to move on.

Are We Losing The Power To “Talk”?

Just as I finished sipping my hot cup of morning coffee
A Facebook article suddenly made me feel stuffy;
A boy somewhere committed suicide, being pressed with depression
And this was mainly because of his lack of expression
He could not speak his mind out to his parents or to any friend,
And thus decides to commit suicide to put an end.
He was stressed out for the past one year
But not a single person was there to lend him an ear
Parents, relatives and friends were all busy with their work
And thus they have no time to sit and talk.
Even when they got some time to relax
They preferred to be busy over Whatsapp and Facebook chats,
During the time of lunch, dinner, and breakfast
They would be highly engrossed in their mobiles, laptops and tabs
Oh! they would be busier even during the weekends
As they had to upload something every now and then
No one noticed how the boy was slowly distancing himself from everyone
Because not a single person was there from whom he could get an opinion
The boy scribbled down in his suicide note –
“See you all on the other side of the road
Hope someone will be there to listen to me then
To assure me of their presence now and again”
This makes me question – Are we losing the power of “real talk”
In this era of “modernisation” which seems to mock?
So I would like to make an ardent request to one and all
Please engage in some “real talk,” apart from the world of “rofl” and “lol”.

Does Everything Always Happen For The Good?

People say “whatever happens, happens for the good”
She could not agree to this any longer
Being from a conservative family she has always learnt how to dress modestly, how to talk, how to walk, where to go, what to do, and what not.
That night was nothing different
She went to a party, being dressed “properly,” danced with her friends and enjoyed,
Though she was drunk, she behaved sober
She took a shared cab on her way back home.
She shared the cab with people she knew as “friends”
But poor she,
She had no clue when “friends” turned into enemies;
The guy who sat with her in the backseat tried to be cosy – smiling and touching her hair
She shifted away, paying not much attention
But when he placed his hands on her breasts, she knew it was time to react
And pushed him hard
There was silence for a moment
She thought she could teach him a lesson
Alas! She had no idea what was coming next
She was almost at her doorstep when the guy forced a kiss on her lips
She lifted her hand to thrash him
But his strong masculine hands grabbed hers
He went on kissing her lips
She was too weak to move
But finally when she managed to shout, he left her alone.
Next day she went to attend a march against women’s harassment
She took pledge with others to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient
But with every pledge that she took, she knew how weak she was last night, how helpless she felt
She could not find a single reason which was good enough to justify her situation the previous night.

Bio: Shrimoyee Chattopadhyay is a PhD research scholar of the British Studies programme at the Doctoral School of Literary and Cultural Studies, University of Debrecen, Hungary. She does research in contemporary South Asian diasporic fiction and film, but her interests include gender studies, urban studies, food culture, memory, and trauma studies. Currently, she is working with the literary and cinematic texts of contemporary diaspora female writers and film directors, such as Jhumpa Lahiri, Monica Ali, Bharati Mukherjee, Chitra Divakaruni, and Gurinder Chadha. Her main focus lies in the interconnectedness of gender, city space, and memory studies. She has presented her research papers in esteemed universities, such as Oxford and Cambridge, among others. Her scholarly articles have been published in several national and international journals.

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