Poetry: Shrimoyee Chattopadhyay

Shrimoyee Chattopadhyay

Self-Love

Finally, after all these years

I have learned to love myself, to live for my own self

Honestly, I am still not used to it

And it feels a li'l uncomfortable

This is because, I have always prioritised you before me

But as I venture into self-love

It feels something new, something special

And I am going with the flow.

All the love that got wasted on each of you

The love that was never reciprocated

Will now be put to the best use!

The tears that I shed after each heart-break

The lonely nights, the self harm

All that had to stop someday!

Well, you may not be too happy to know

But now, I only shed happy tears

I wake up every morning

To give myself another chance to live

Self-care and self-pamper are now essential parts of my daily routine

I am learning, I am healing.

It's not easy to forget all those memories

That I spent with you all

But now when I look back

There is more pain than love

And, so, I decided to move on.

***

 

Are We Losing The Power To “Talk”?

Just as I finished sipping my hot cup of morning coffee

A Facebook article suddenly made me feel stuffy;

A boy somewhere committed suicide, being pressed with depression

And this was mainly because of his lack of expression

He could not speak his mind out to his parents or to any friend,

And thus decides to commit suicide to put an end.

He was stressed out for the past one year

But not a single person was there to lend him an ear

Parents, relatives and friends were all busy with their work

And thus they have no time to sit and talk.

Even when they got some time to relax

They preferred to be busy over Whatsapp and Facebook chats,

During the time of lunch, dinner, and breakfast

They would be highly engrossed in their mobiles, laptops and tabs

Oh! they would be busier even during the weekends

As they had to upload something every now and then

No one noticed how the boy was slowly distancing himself from everyone

Because not a single person was there from whom he could get an opinion

The boy scribbled down in his suicide note –

“See you all on the other side of the road

Hope someone will be there to listen to me then

To assure me of their presence now and again”

This makes me question – Are we losing the power of “real talk”

In this era of “modernisation” which seems to mock?

So I would like to make an ardent request to one and all

Please engage in some “real talk,” apart from the world of “rofl” and “lol”.

***

 

Does Everything Always Happen For The Good?

People say “whatever happens, happens for the good”

She could not agree to this any longer

Being from a conservative family she has always learnt how to dress modestly, how to talk, how to walk, where to go, what to do, and what not.

That night was nothing different

She went to a party, being dressed “properly,” danced with her friends and enjoyed,

Though she was drunk, she behaved sober

She took a shared cab on her way back home.

She shared the cab with people she knew as “friends”

But poor she,

She had no clue when “friends” turned into enemies;

The guy who sat with her in the backseat tried to be cosy – smiling and touching her hair

She shifted away, paying not much attention

But when he placed his hands on her breasts, she knew it was time to react

And pushed him hard

There was silence for a moment

She thought she could teach him a lesson

Alas! She had no idea what was coming next

She was almost at her doorstep when the guy forced a kiss on her lips

She lifted her hand to thrash him

But his strong masculine hands grabbed hers

He went on kissing her lips

She was too weak to move

But finally when she managed to shout, he left her alone.

Next day she went to attend a march against women’s harassment

She took pledge with others to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient

But with every pledge that she took, she knew how weak she was last night, how helpless she felt

She could not find a single reason which was good enough to justify her situation the previous night.

***

Bio: Shrimoyee Chattopadhyay is a PhD research scholar of the British Studies programme at the Doctoral School of Literary and Cultural Studies, University of Debrecen, Hungary. She does research in contemporary South Asian diasporic fiction and film, but her interests include gender studies, urban studies, food culture, memory, and trauma studies. Currently, she is working with the literary and cinematic texts of contemporary diaspora female writers and film directors, such as Jhumpa Lahiri, Monica Ali, Bharati Mukherjee, Chitra Divakaruni, and Gurinder Chadha. Her main focus lies in the interconnectedness of gender, city space, and memory studies. She has presented her research papers in esteemed universities, such as Oxford and Cambridge, among others. Her scholarly articles have been published in several national and international journals.

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Setu, July 2023