Basudhara Roy (Towards Visibility)

Basudhara Roy
IN ABSENTIA

You are both here and not
in the way the story is here and not
and a possibility sleeps supine between us
contented that between luck and fate
its awakening never came.

In better seasons
there would have been things to say
but you never trusted words enough
and I never could bring the knife to desire
or proof to intention to convince you
that not all words had claws to scar 
or pins to prick faith unawares.

Had you permitted letters
you would have affirmed
they were at best caresses in the breeze
at worst pencil shavings over your desk
fluttering into defeat.
***


THESE DAYS I THINK LAVENDER

It could be the gold of the heat
that so flames all it touches 
that the eye needs some respite
from this orgy of light.

It could be the distant hill
that under a definite slant of the sun
turns from green to slate to blue, 
its head tucked in nimbus peace.

It could also be the chiffon
of your dream draping my limbs,
the confidences between fabric and skin
an enigma I wouldn't tear apart.

Blossoms line these eyelids
from all of yesterdays
and the grass is, for once, willing
to hold us between earth and sky.

I think lavender these days,
steadfastly holding to purple 
even as it loses its heart to white -- 
tomorrow's dream for each bereft tonight.
***

Basudhara Roy teaches English at Karim City College affiliated to Kolhan University, Chaibasa. Drawn to themes of gender and ecology, her four published books include a monograph and three poetry collections, the latest being Inhabiting. She loves, rebels, writes and reviews from Jamshedpur, Jharkhand, India.


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