Fiction: Fading Roots

Johny Takkedasila

Johny Takkedasila

'You have been saying for a year that you are studying some course. We have sent all our hard-earned money to you. Legs and hands have stopped cooperating for work. Dad is saying that he is unable to work. It would have been better if he had taken care of the money instead of educating you. When will you get a job?! When will our lives change?!' Nagamma cried.

'Do jobs grow on trees? Will it be available everywhere and will be given to anyone?' I am still doing my best. Madhu, Nagamma's only son, annoyingly  said. 

'Those who studied with you got jobs. You’re only saying this. We spent six lakhs, which we could not afford, to make you study at Chennai's Hindustan University. We sent thousands of rupees for that fee.’ 

‘Next door, Chandra’s son got a job when he was in his third year! The whole village is claiming that the salary is sixty thousand per month. It doesn't matter if our lives don't change much, as long as you obey. That's enough,' she said in a sobbing voice.

'You are the one who brought me to Chennai without considering whether I wanted to or not. I simply said I can't study. What am I supposed to do now with that much money spent? You  always compare me with Chandra's son or Pirappa's daughter since childhood. How can everyone be the same?'

'We thought you're going to get better. After taking loans, you pursued B. Tech. You were the only one we had; your sister got married and left. We tore our wings, thinking that you are not capable of farming, and you shouldn’t do manual labor in the mud.’

'No one in the country is taking care of their children?!' Madhu hung up the phone angrily, stating, 'You have told me for 24 hours; don't bother me.'

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Nagamma and Bhadrappa hail from Hindupur, located in the Anantapur District. They sold two acres of land for their daughter's marriage and another two acres to fund their son's education. The couple used to cultivate paddy on that four acres of land.

Nagamma has had a philosophy of hard work since childhood. She can't sit still even for ten minutes. Not only does she engage in farm work, but she also set up a small retail shop at home. She believes that even if she earns a hundred rupees a day, it will be useful. 

According to her, people should earn money at a young age. Because no one takes care of us in old age. Whose difficulties are theirs, whose problems are theirs. Do not depend on anyone as long as you are alive. It is not how you survive; it is how you die that matters.

They saved rupee by rupee and ensured a good education for both of their children. They do not want their offspring to endure the same hardships of mud work, soot work, and sweat that they themselves went through. 

Their hope is that their children will have a different life, one where they can earn thousands and lakhs by working in metro cities and air-conditioned rooms without sweating or soiling their shirts.

In fact, even without selling the farm, the daughter could have gotten married and received an education. Nagamma did not have a fondness for agriculture. The village, to her, symbolized hardship, heaviness, mud, chaos, filth, and numerous laborious tasks. 

She perceived inequality, caste discrimination, untouchability, religious pride, ignorance, and superstition prevailing in the village. According to her, people in the village were often rude, emitted unpleasant odors, and the village itself represented narrowness, difficulty, constant adjustment, and a sense of disgust.

If the farm is not sold, Bhadrappa will continue farming and remain in the village. However, once their daughter is married and settled with her in-laws, Nagamma envisions leaving the village if their son secures a job in Chennai, Bangalore, or Hyderabad. Her desire is to escape rural oppression.

Following her plan, she married off their daughter and sent her to Hyderabad. Both the son-in-law and the daughter are employed in the same company, earning well. 

They visit home once every six months, and the daughter is leading a comfortable life. The household is well-equipped with two maids, and even her daughter’s mother-in-law speaks a language distinct from the village. The elderly members of the family are also engaged in the sarees business, ensuring they stay active and productive.

'How is it possible to earn with four hands? Because they are in the city! They can earn more in the city.’ These are her thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

With the money from the sale of the farm, the daughter’s wedding was lavishly arranged. Additionally, she cleared the loan for her son's education, anticipating that everything would be fine once her son secured a job. 

However, two years passed since her son completed his B.Tech, and as the job did not materialize, she had to send thousands of rupees.

To run a retail shop, you need to procure goods and make investments. At that time, owing to the existing farm, there was debt in the village, but no one is lending now. Nagamma does not want to borrow money from her son-in-law. 

When her daughter comes home once every six months, she puts a thousand or two thousand rupees in her hand, but the question remains, how do they survive? Her daughter doesn't inquire about what they are eating, and there seems to be no time for such discussions.

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Nagamma went to Hyderabad to take care of her pregnant daughter. Amidst big buildings, wide roads, and heavy vehicular traffic, everyone is engrossed in their own work. There seems to be a lack of concern for one another. 

The house is comfortable, with a garden in front, and each person has their own separate rooms. If Nagamma’s daughter leaves early, she won't return home until night, leaving little time for conversation. The reason is that home is at one place, and work is elsewhere. The strength in the body diminishes before starting work, and there is no patience for conversation.

Despite being pregnant, Nagamma's daughter continues to work. Nagamma questions, 'Why do you need a job at this time? Your husband is earning! Be happy at home.'

'Mummy, they don't give leave in the office. I'll take leave one month before delivery. I have to go back to the office ten days after I deliver. Otherwise, what I'm doing will stop. If I don't go, they'll hire someone else.'

'Even if you lose your job, it's okay. My son-in-law is earning! It would be better if we move away two years after the delivery.'

'Mom! This is not a village. Vegetables are not as cheap as they are in the village. No one here cares whether we eat or not, let alone how we look. It doesn't mean that people here don't have love, attachment, and affection. It's just that there's no leisure, no time.'

‘A family cannot survive if only one person works. Many people migrate to the city in pursuit of a livelihood, working here and sending money back home.’

‘The cost of living in the city is higher than in the village for whatever we purchase. We obtain pure milk at a lower price from Ramanamma's sister's house opposite. Even if you invest a significant amount of money here, you won't get pure milk.’ 

‘I won't claim that the entire city is deceptive. People here don't aspire to become machines, but they have to work diligently; otherwise, survival becomes challenging.’

‘How will the children's education progress if I sit idly by, saying that your son-in-law is earning? One lakh is required from LKG to enroll in school here. If you go to a hospital for delivery, it costs Rs. 1 lakh for normal delivery and Rs. 2 lakh for a cesarean. Money is essential to step out here; we can't do without it. As many people as there are in the house, that many have to earn.’ 

‘How can the salary come without working for a month? Besides the salary, there is nothing left for house expenses, car rent, insurance, electricity bill, gas bill, municipal water bill, etc. At the same time in the  village, there are not so many expenses. However, since we are accustomed to city life, we cannot stay in the village.’

‘When your son-in-law came to our house, he was upset that there was no AC. Earning is essential to sustain life here. If we don't work, we will be in debt. Even the hills will melt if you try to survive without working.’

'That's fine, but what about the younger brother's job? Did you speak to him? Are there any vacancies in the company?'

‘I suggested he talk to his brother-in-law, but he isn't listening. He doesn't want to get a job like that; he insists he'll find a different job.’

'Don't worry, Mom. He will get a job soon.'

It has been three months since Nagamma came to Hyderabad to take care of her daughter. She hasn't talked to a single person in Hyderabad and has refrained from going out. 

In the village, there's always someone to talk to. Whoever prepares a new type of food in nearby houses, shares it with others. In the evening, everyone gathers on the mound and engages in conversation.

Nagamma couldn't stay in her daughter's house; she felt suffocated. Her mind wandered back to the farm, craving the freshness of the air. She was afraid that staying there might lead to her demise.

Village means purity, freedom, joint family, the courage to exist, farm, and also hunger. The village is the source of satisfaction for hunger, comfort, the smell of the soil, and many other things that cannot be found in the city. 

Nagamma realized that the city needs the village as much as the village needs the city. She understood the importance of embracing diverse lifestyles, ways of life, and habits without opposition. Each has its uniqueness, and she learned to appreciate and respect that diversity.

Farming is not wrong; working in the soil is not a crime. Without soil, there is nothing. Nagamma wants to call Madhu and express that she no longer desires a job and wishes for him to come home. 

She now understands why Bhadrappa's health deteriorated after selling the farm. She feels the need to apologize to her husband. Bhadrappa, who was skilled in farming on his land, is deeply affected by the realization that she had reduced him to being just an agricultural laborer.

Nagamma returned to the village after her daughter gave birth. Following the sale of the agricultural land, Bhadrappa and Nagamma began working as agricultural laborers. However, Bhadrappa's mental state seems to have been affected, as he has been talking like a distraught person for the past few months.

He often cries out, 'My land is gone, you threw soil in my mouth, I will jump into the mud, I will sink into the soil, I want land.' Nagamma interprets these words as an expression of the pain he feels from selling the agricultural land.

When she puts food on the plate, he asks, 'Why are you putting soil?' He says they have taken away his soil. He screams loudly in his sleep, 'My soil is soaked in rain, my soil is wet, my soil is golden soil,' and the whole village is shaken, as he claims that gold is growing in his field.

Nagamma was heartbroken to see Bhadrappa's condition. She blamed herself, saying, 'I am the reason my husband is like this. I have driven my husband mad.' Overcome with remorse, she called her daughter and son, expressing her concern that if she continued like this, she might lose her husband. Falling at Bhadrappa's feet, she pleaded for forgiveness, acknowledging her wrongdoing. She admitted, 'I have committed a sin; I have tortured you. I failed to understand your deep connection with the soil. I couldn't realize that you are the king of the country even though you are working in the field.'

Madhu came from Bangalore, and the daughter and son-in-law arrived from Hyderabad. Madhu realized that her father was mentally ill. He was promptly taken to Nimhans Hospital in Bangalore. After medical tests, the doctors concluded that Bhadrappa had experienced a mental breakdown and needed to stay at the hospital for two months.

Nagamma stayed with Bhadrappa at Nimhans Hospital, confined within four walls. Only she was allowed to stay in the hospital along with Bhadrappa.

The son used to go once a week to provide them with the necessary items. The daughter gave fifty thousand rupees for the father's treatment. Initially, Nagamma didn't consider asking her daughter for money. 

However, realizing that the funds were running out, she suggested her daughter sell the gold she had and bring the money. Following Nagamma's advice, Madhu sold the jewelry and brought the money.

If the father's health deteriorates, he needs money. Without money, he cannot survive. To address this, he downloaded a loan app on his mobile and borrowed fifty thousand rupees. Handing the money to Nagamma, he claimed that he had secured a job and assured her that their problems would be solved, emphasizing that nothing would happen to his father.

Nevertheless, the loan money must be repaid, and finding a job requires effort. Despite this reality, he decides not to pursue employment. Recalling a friend's suggestion about the potential earnings through hacking, he promptly opens the computer to research what hacking involves, collecting information on how to go about it.

He learned computer programming, specifically for hacking. Madhu already had experience learning various software courses. After watching hacking tutorials on YouTube, he mastered hacking. Reflecting on the process, he pondered, 'Learning to be good is hard work, but how long does it take to learn to be bad? It's hard to be good, but how long will it take to turn bad?'

In the realm of hacking, it involves finding bugs in a computer and transferring money from other people's bank accounts through exploiting these vulnerabilities. An 'ethical hacker (white hat)' identifies errors in the computer and works to solve the problems. On the other hand, a 'cracker (black hat)' refers to someone who gains unauthorized access to a computer for personal gain, steals corporate data, violates privacy rights, or transfers funds from bank accounts, among other illicit activities. He also learned about various hacking techniques, such as 'Grey Hat', 'Script Kiddies', 'Hacktivist', and 'Fracker'.

Madhu engaged in hacking and initially transferred ten thousand rupees from his friend's account. Subsequently, he hacked approximately twenty bank accounts, exploiting the information at his disposal, and amassed up to five lakhs. 

He visited the hospital and handed one lakh rupees to Nagamma. He falsely claimed a monthly salary of two lakhs. Nagamma, trusting his words, celebrated the idea that her son was addressing their needs. She harbored hope that, with the accrued funds, she could purchase a farm in the village and resume farming after her husband's health is fine.

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'The brother has been arrested. The police contacted me, accusing him of stealing money from other people's bank accounts. They instructed him to come to the police station immediately. I explained that I cannot come as I am in Hyderabad. I provided them with your phone number and hospital details. Don't worry, they mentioned that if the money is returned, they might release the brother. Imprisonment is a possibility.' Nagamma's daughter informed Nagamma over the phone that her husband was consulting with a lawyer he knew.

'What do you mean? How can he withdraw money from someone else's account? I don't understand why,' she cried, expressing that someone has deliberately accused her son.

'I talked to him. He said that he did it for money because he didn't get a job. He is afraid to call you. I'm in touch with the police. Don't stress yourself.' 

Nagamma could not utter a word. She didn't know what to do.

Bhadrappa looked at Nagamma, who was next to him, and asked what happened? Though he was not fully aware, he was concerned about what had happened to his son.

Nagamma did not know what to say and hung up the phone. She interacted with Bhadrappa without raising suspicion.

'Madhu... Madhu... Madhu...'

'When will he come... will he bring soil!'

'I want my soil… my Madhu,' Bhadrappa cried.

'Your soil will not come to you... You can no longer work on the land. I have destroyed your soil. Madhu was arrested by the police.' She held Bhadrappa and cried, saying, 'I have beaten my stomach, I have spoiled my son, my mind is not good.'

'My soil will not come back? Won't you bring my gold soil? How should I live?' He fell asleep saying, 'I want soil.'

Falling on the dead body of the husband and shouting loudly, 'Oh, have you left me, I have killed my husband, how can I live? O Lord, take me too.' she screamed.

'No, I can't live without him. I cannot take a breath.' She hit her head on the wall, declaring that she will die too. 

The nurses and security guards there calmed Nagamma and informed the daughter. After hearing the news of the father's death, the daughter and son-in-law reached Bangalore, paid the remaining money from the hospital, and took Bhadrappa's dead body to the village.

Having lost his farm, Bhadrappa, who considered agriculture as his breath and soil as his mother, found solace in the lap of the same soil. Unfortunately, Madhu could not witness his father's last moments. Nagamma's daughter stayed with her mother for a week in the village and then returned to Hyderabad.

Nagamma did not want to be alone. In her dreams, she saw soil; in the house, she sensed soil. When food was placed on the plate for eating, it seemed like soil; even the water added for bathing appeared like soil. 

The entire house seemed filled with nothing but soil. She felt an urge to hold the soil. She struggled to comprehend what was happening to her. The cumulative impact of selling the farm, her husband's death, and her son's troubles had become overwhelming, suffocating Nagamma.

She could not see anything except the soil. Gradually, her vision became dull. When the sight is dim, everything should appear dark. Nagamma perceived nothing but soil. Whatever she ate, it felt like she was consuming soil.

'One day she woke up early in the morning and ran away from home. She lay down in the field she had sold, and poured soil on her head and body.'

It's unclear whether Nagamma ate soil or soil consumed Nagamma, but her breath stopped.

'People talked about Nagamma on the mound in the village. The city does not recognize Nagamma.'

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Bio: Johny Takkedasila was born on 08.06.1991 in Pulivendula, Andhra Pradesh, India. His literary journey, which began as a Telugu poet, has seen the publication of 23 books. In addition to writing in Telugu, Hindi, and English, he is also involved in translation.

He has received the Central Sahitya Akademi Yuva Puraskar for 2023 (National Award) for "Vivechani," Criticism book in the Telugu language. His other works Tiny Treasures, Puberty, Kattela Poyyi, Siva Reddy Kavitvam Oka Parisheelana and Akademi Aanimutyalu were published by Ukiyoto.

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Setu, October 2025