Intrusive Thoughts: Sanjay Narain

The gentle moonlight,

slipping through my window,

and the sound of silence, 

somewhere far away, 

where I long to be too, 

It’s the way I thought,

my restless wandering,

was over...

and that I’d found...

It’s the beating of my heart.

the way I lie awake, 

playing with shadows,

slowly climbing up my wall,

whatever I thought,

I had found or wanted,

I started to collect then,

my belongings. 

to build a home,

behind the comfort,

of these four walls 

and a closed door

as much as I tried,

or pretended 

or imagined myself,

as a part of,

all the people out there.

I was still the one,

locking the door every night.

turning off the phone 

and blowing out the candles 

so no one knew,

I was home.

coz I was never really well,

around my expectations,

wanting to keep to myself. 

I haven’t been impressed lately,

by people or places,

or the way,

someone responds.

And then slowly,

changed my mind,

to bring my thoughts,

in sync with my desires,

to get fulfilled,

a few of them,

my thoughts have finally,

achieved assimilation...

        ***********

---

Setu October 2021