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James Bates |
- James Bates
I remember hearing
the song by Three Dog Night, “One Is the Loneliest Number,” and thinking, Yeah,
that’s me. All by myself. No one cares.
Now I see that
thought for what it really was, a cry in the night from a frightened six-year-old
kid whose parents abandoned him to the child welfare system, leaving me all by myself,
scared and alone, wondering if this foster home thing was going to work out.
Fortunately, it
did. Early on, I bonded with my older foster brother Tony. His parents were
crack addicts and he’d been removed from them when he was three years old and
put into the system. He was four years older than me and pretty smart. He read
books to me, took me on bicycle rides and taught me to fish.
One of my best
memories with Tony was when I was in eighth grade. I had tip-toed from the
bathroom and into the bedroom we shared. I quietly closed the door and asked “What
do you think about this?” Earlier, I’d snuck into the bathroom and bleached my
hair with hydrogen peroxide like some of my classmates were doing.
He put down the
book he was reading and gave me a long once over. I watched as his expression
changed from horrified to bemused. “To be honest,” he said, shaking his head,
“it looks pretty bad.” I fought back a sudden unexpected flow of tears. All I had
wanted was fit in with my classmates. “Here,” he said, standing up and taking
me by the arm. “Come on. Let’s see what we can do to remedy this situation.”
He took me into
the bathroom and stood me in front of the mirror. “Look.”
I looked closely
at my bleached hair. Normally a rich dark brown, it was now a bright, wheat
colored yellow. Some of it was orange. The closer I looked, the more
embarrassed I felt.
I met his eyes in
the mirror, “I guess you’re right,” I told him. “It looks pretty bad.” I felt
the tears welling up again. “I’m so stupid.”
In the mirror Tony
said, “Hey, relax, It’s not the end of the world. Your hair will go back to its
normal color. Eventually.”
I used as Kleenex
to wipe my nose. “I can’t believe I did such a dumb thing.”
“Don’t worry about
it.” He mused my hair. “We all make mistakes.” Just talking to him made me feel
a little better. No much, but a little. Tony was a senior in high school, good
looking and popular. He didn’t need to waste time with a stupid kid like me,
but he did. “Here, let me show you something.”
Even though I
didn’t need it, he opened the cupboard, took out a can of Gillette shaving
cream and spent the next fifteen minutes teaching me how to shave with a trac-two
razor. I thought it was the coolest thing that ever happened to me. He even let
me use some of his aftershave. Agua Velva. It smelled great.
We became very
close after that. I’m not the brightest bulb in the pack, but Tony watched out
for me and showed me stuff and helped me navigate the next four years of my
life. I eventually graduated from high school. Whenever I was feeling down
about my grades, he’d remind me, “There’s more to life than book learning,
Warren. At least you try.” And I did. I tired as hard as I could.
In fact, I still do. I work as a stock boy at
a local grocery store, and I ride the bus to and from our apartment to work. That’s
right, our apartment. After I graduated, Tony asked me if I wanted to move in
with him. “Because we’re buddies,” he told me at the time.
Well, yeah. “Sure!” I told
him. “Thanks.”
So, he and I have
our own place. He tells me he’s proud of me. I pull my own weight and ‘pay my
own way’ as the saying goes. It makes me feel proud to help out. I might have
been lost in the system if not for Tony. I was lucky to have met him. I still
consider myself lucky.
“We’re roommates for
life,” he often tells me. “I’ll always have your back.”
You know what? I not only have a brother, but a friend. And I’m not lonely anymore. Not like I was before I met Tony. I was sad then. Now, I’m not. In fact, I’ve never been happier. We’re even thinking of getting a pet. Maybe a cat. I love to have something to take care of like Tony does for me. That’d be so cool. And if we do, I’m thinking of naming him Hydro because of that thing years ago with the hydrogen peroxide. I think it’s a great name.
Thank you. I was there. I saw you, I watched you and your brother. I saw the love and I saw it all thru your words. You didn't go overboard. You wrote a fine story and left me curious about the brothers. Very good . BTW -Great beard & head of hair.
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