Shanta Acharya (Diaspora Dual Identities)

Shanta Acharya

Exile

 

Alien, outsider, firangi, gaijin, exile –

are some names of the pariah gods of exile.

 

Once exiled, always an exile; no place to call home –

a stranger in a strange land, speaking in tongues of exile.

 

You learn to stand alone, commit your faith to luck –

a roll of the dice, the random walk of exile.

 

All your efforts to belong somewhere thwarted

by shadows that darken your life in exile.

 

Across the world people dream of home and belonging,

not to uproot themselves for a lifetime of exile.

 

A state of mind, it is the freedom to die in

a world elsewhere from the loneliness of exile.

 

You offer yourself, your treasures, knowing the world

is enriched with the toil and tears of exile.

 

Only to see your life’s work destroyed, unacknowledged,

not rise like prayers in grand cathedrals of exile.

 

Your thunder stolen, you rail within, ask the sky

why there is no justice for the grief of exile?

 

The earth blesses all migrations. They say God roams

the streets disguised in tattered robes of exile.

 

If you have no eyes to see I am human, feel my heart

beat with the compassion of one in self-exile.

 

May peace and enlightenment be yours, my soul –

Vilayat’s music can only be heard in exile.

 

Dressing Up In Lockdown

 

A pristine summer’s day, sparkling like champagne,

perfect for giving my garments an airing.

At home in a bubble of my own, lounging

in pyjama and dressing gown, numbering

my days’ illusions, comfort reigns over style.

My wardrobe reprimands me, cries in chorus –

saris complaining the loudest of not being

touched, embraced, admired – their silks, chiffons,

satins, crepes, georgettes, chanderis, mothballed

in tissue, chide me for starving myself

in the midst of plenty. Unable to ignore their

pleas, I wear a sari with matching jewellery,

spray myself with Nirvana and Eternity,

with a glass of bubbly, watch Downton Abbey.

 

 

Looking for Myself

 

A work of art, covering the face of agony,

ecstasy is fleeting, not universally shared.

 

Love may have a way of outlasting us,

change is our true companion in life.

 

Doubt plays a key part: like a child enters my heart,

wrecks everything I place my faith in.

 

The hours rarely pass without tiredness making

an appearance like the Chorus in a Greek tragedy.

 

Why did I think it normal to crawl on the floor

of the ocean of exhaustion, hoping for redemption

 

or the sky to provide me asylum in her kingdom?

Looking for myself among stars that lie shattered,

 

having donated their everything to the universe,

I discover the true meaning of altruism.

 

Living in a state of vulnerability, hanging on

to the tree of life sucking hope, each day a triumph

 

of improvisation, I pray for the chronically fatigued.

When doctors talk of asthenia, thalassaemia, genes and more,

 

I am in an IMAX movie theatre, watching an unreal world

exploding at its seam. How does one get at the truth?

 

Single, female, first generation immigrant, no security,

intelligent, neurodivergent, born to be different.

 

Don’t they know that loneliness is a cramping

of the spirit for lack of companionship?

 

If only they knew the enterprise involved in finding

one’s way through this universe of unknowing?

 

 

Shanta Acharya DPhil (Oxon) is a poet, novelist, literary critic, and reviewer. The author of thirteen books, her poems, articles, and reviews have featured in major literary publications. Her latest poetry collections are Dear Life (LWL Books, USA; 2025), What Survives Is the Singing (Indigo Dreams Publishing, UK; 2020), and Imagine: New and Selected Poems (HarperCollins Publishers, India; 2017). Her doctoral study, The Influence of Indian Thought on Ralph Waldo Emerson, was published in the USA in 2001, and her novel, A World Elsewhere, in 2015. Her poems have been translated into several languages. www.shanta-acharya.com

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