Yesterday that I wish to bury to look forward…
If you ask me what is new this year 2021 generally, I would say nothing much except we have a vaccine but personally I had a year with a roller coaster ride almost losing my life because of my heart condition. The year 2020 tested us beyond measures something most of us would never want to re-visit ever for mainly Covid-19 on our planet. The havoc it created killing millions all over the globe making a grim and gloomy atmosphere around our lives.
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| Madhumita Sinha |
All of us who are alive today and living this moment are fortunate enough to have survived the worst pandemic in the history of world. The battle continues as humans are on constant job to discover medicines, vaccinations and devising ways to eliminate it from the world but it only seems to get stronger and stronger with newer variants. I however had my own story of fighting and surviving another battle with my already damaged heart. A battle with three heart surgeries behind me with three replacements of devices in last 11 years have been tough but I took it I my stride. I am 100 percent dependent on my device for every heartbeat because I have complete electrical block (3 degree block) hence I need to go for my device check up frequently and a follow up of heart condition which took a backseat mainly as going to a doctor wasn’t easy anymore unless absolutely there was something serious. This led me to become more vulnerable with my deteriorating heart condition with no vaccination by then. Things started to deteriorate further. I however kept myself busy with loads of work both personal and professional ignoring minor discomforts.
On 17 Dec 2020 I had two major cardiac arrests followed by a surgery and change of device from pacemaker now it was an ICD (Implantable cardiac device). I was told that I could only survive luckily because of the timely intervention. My heart had stopped for long pauses in between the beats making me black out and become unconscious intermittently (this was automatically recorded in the device implanted in my heart and could be checked by the doctor later). My husband could surprisingly revive me back by administering CPR on me. That night probably I died for a short while when I saw the people who had recently died to welcome me smilingly and I was feeling at peace away from pain. I could relate to these memories after I gained consciousness and told my husband. To cut the long story short, I did survive another end and I decided to make my life purposeful in many ways I wanted to do. If you ask me how it changed me as a person I would say totally, as after three such surgeries I know it’s not my time to go as I have some unfulfilled tasks left back here. Yes I am on my mission to complete them now with the blessing of almighty who is behind every drama that unfolds on this mortal plane. I look forward to every single moment as a blessing and try and live in the present. One thing I surely understood from this experience is that nothing is in my hands I am just a puppet in hands of the creator. After all this is my new birth and I am living it up in all sense.
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Madhumita Sinha is an HR professional. She is passionate about poetry, panting and photography, the three Ps of her life that completely keeps are busy. She is a published author of two poetry books ‘Heartbeats’ and ‘Bits and pieces of me’. she has contributed to 11 anthologies out of that 3 are international anthologies. she writes for a lot of literary magazines and journals worldwide from time to time. She is a true nature enthusiast, and her poetries are greatly influenced by nature.
