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| Ethan Goffman |
Do
Not Read this Poem, Read the One Below
This
poem is pathetic.
It
has nothing to say and says it badly.
This
poem has no rhythm, no rhyme, no resonance, no romance, no reason.
However
you spend your day,
do not
read this poem!
Instead,
read the poem below.
Its
profound wisdom
will
enlighten you.
The
poem below will act as
your
Zen Master
guiding
you on a marvelous journey
on a
craggy path through the mist
to
the sun-drenched peak above.
Read
the poem below and you are 110%, fully, completely, and utterly guaranteed to
· find your bliss
· fulfill your
destiny
· transcend time and
space
· attain Nirvana
Don’t
Even Glance at This Poem, Read Only the One Above
You
are a fool
to look
at these words
written
by a suffering man
with
a migraine headache
a
tortured childhood
and
no sense of form or beauty.
I
warn you
do
not read this poem!
It
is a profound waste of time,
precious
seconds you will never recover
in
the brief candle
that
is
your
life.
Instead,
read the poem above
destined
to stand
as
the most profound work of artistic perfection
in
the English
or
any
language,
indeed,
the most profound work,
visual,
sculptural, musical, culinary, olfactory,
in
the whole entire history
of artistic
endeavor
in
the known
and unknown
universe.
Eat,
drink, observe, touch, taste, hear, the divine words of
the previous
poem.
Feel
the sublime experience
radiate
in
every micrometer of your being
from
the tips of your ears to the hangnails on your pinkie toes.
Satisfying
your
body.
Satiating
your
soul.
Lick
the above poem,
rub
your fingers lovingly
over
each profound letter
feel
the texture
enhanced
by immortal words.
Print
it out and bring it with you
into
your daily shower.
Use
it to gently scrub your body,
every
cranny,
every
pore,
every
nanometer,
of your
tender flesh,
each
iota
of
your immortal soul.
LOL
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