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| Rob Harle |
Diary Entry
(from
the memoirs of Sebastian Smith)
Today i realised i was still alive
the white-coats took me for a walk,
scents of the earth
early flowers and spring buds smiled,
neatly tended hospital grounds
how much i'd missed - did it matter?
drugged, strapped down, electrocuted
incessant blurred nightmare.
today i realised i was still alive.
the future?
memories, fragments of memories
deep-sleep clearing,
bits of someone's life – mine i guess,
was it a year since i was labelled Mad?
birds chirped and danced
darting behind happy hyacinths,
puffy clouds looked down - watching me,
would he falter?
the white-coats chatted at a distance
voices, memories of voices
but: No voices, No voices
Oh wondrous day - calm day.
i was tiring
i sat under a huge velvet fig tree
my body, i still had a body
imagine that, a body that felt.
outside the hospital walls, life was moving
cars in the distance, hummed
imagine that, to drive a car
fast - speeding along.
***
Masks
This
mask you wear today
cultivated
finely honed in light,
hours spent preening the reflection
mirror's lights
and mirror's gaze
to impress,
to bolster sagging confidence
dragged downwards slowly.
And yesterday's mask,
washed away
perhaps thrown in a corner
to decay like memories,
like childhood fantasies,
the puppets and the plays
have long since gathered dust.
What of tomorrow's mask?
Sleek, fashionable, fresh
projecting deep desires,
cool reflections
of grandiose games
or sighs of insecurity.
When your pantomime is played
and the final mask is made
What will be your next disguise?
***
Chthonian Vaults
Androgyny
rises swollen and ripe
tempting, it caresses your mind easily
like the taste of melting chocolate,
a transformation of mental images
collected from past encounters
rounded, sensuous, piercing
gradually heat your inner core.
To become yin and yang
without sacrifice or scar,
to survive the boredom of mediocrity
you grow wings like Icarus,
only shrewd, you soar towards Pluto.
A journey of passion and provocation
to the deepest realms of nature's womb
where every move treads a razor's edge,
and blood and semen flow together
as archetypes yield their secrets.
Far from the purity of whiteness,
the glaring brightness of the Sun
you play in chthonian vaults of darkness,
moving forward with profane purpose
transcending synthetic moral pretense
the freedom you desire seems close.
Fly dangerously young hermaphrodite,
explore every chance with craving
swallow life with your voracious tongue
and consummate your destiny
in a ritual of solipsistic rapture.
***
Whore and Nun
the fa├зade has split
is peeling
as the pupae eats your thoughts
cast from last year’s butterfly
has turned to evil's deeds.
hurtling through the tortured caverns
opening rigid darkened doors
'til exposed and naked
the final passion falls
and the moon casts splintered shadows
on the face of nun and whore.
"I'm not like that you rage,"
a hollow cry
for all to hear is false,
as whore and nun go dancing
down the highway of your psyche.
"Let's try this tango one more time"
where whore discards desire
where nun discards the habit
where both are mortal strangers
'til the lights go out at night.
***
Looking Towards Infinity
Draped
in confusion I look towards infinity
listening I suffer the inevitability of
isolation,
the whiteness of sacred flesh
mocks my feeble efforts
as the tired pages fall back to sleep.
Lost in
the righteousness of abstraction
I charge mercilessly into the music,
the blackness of unanswered questions
mocks my feeble efforts
as the fools sing the Laws of Karma.
Drowned
in the discord of smouldering wine
I court the winged messenger of fate,
the emptiness of unattended dreams
mocks my feeble efforts
as my mind drifts slowly away from its hinge.
And then
a flash of hope ascends
I've foiled the arrows of the Philistines
the clarity of inspiration
mocks my feeble efforts
as I realise the answer lies beyond infinity
in a realm that few minds dare imagine.
***
Rob Harle is a poet, artist and reviewer. His work is published in journals, anthologies, online, and in books. He is on the editorial board of a number of international art and literary journals including Leonardo. His work concerns the technoMetamorphosis of humanity.
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