Samra WaHeed (Freedom 2022)

* 1 *

Today’s freedom
A series of letting go
Of your mind
Your programming
Your past
The parts of you that you thought were you but aren’t
Things you thought made you that hold you back
The moments of meaning
Ones you made in situations that did not exist
Except in your mind’s desperate attempt to be chosen
Shed your skin
Time and again
Leave the wreckage of your previous life
Where you made yourself small
And sat in dark corners to be forgotten, never missed
Your cloak of shame does not fit anymore
Shine Polaris 
You guide ships still finding their way
***

* 2 *

I bought my freedom in exchange for years of bleeding 
Broken at an early age
My father, ever a distant stranger in his chair
My mother a ghost
Later replaced, a skin filled in psychosis
Father filled his cup to forget
It worked well, he forgot us
But I could never forget that cup
I despised it
The smell sickened me
I did not always know what it held
But I knew it made me sad
And how I felt it needed to be washed differently than others
More slowly, with gentle hands, in my tears
This is the cup that made him talk to me like I had words
Even after his passing, his cup is my prison
Decades later
Still chipped in the same places
***


* 3 *

Free me to love and let love be… In all that is my essence
Let it reach from my toes and grow
Through the roots of my hair to its curled tips
Allow me to breathe in love and let it ripple out of my center
A deep indigo
In the stillness that holds tranquil the moon, in midnight sky 
Fast, at the opening of day
Through to Evening’s embrace, on the back of Wind’s quiet chill
Where does my skin find humility and warmth to unburden itself
In the need for a sway, safe against insecurities, like bare trees in Autumn’s breath
My leaves are gone but I am still here
Waiting for Winter’s White to dress me in the cloth of cleanliness
Cloaked in beauty
***



untitled photo and painting by Samra WaHeed

Bio: Samra WaHeed is a dedicated elementary educator who enjoys teaching writing among other subjects. She completed a master’s degree in her field, focusing on equitable instruction. Samra began writing poetry in 2009 after making a life changing decision. Samra draws inspiration from her experiences and the beauty she finds in nature. She loves hiking, conversations and coffee, and music. For Samra, writing has been a space for self-expression and healing.

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