Marian Eikelhof, NETHERLANDS


You told me
I would look perfect
with a certain technique
touch of the tongue
my beauty would be
a delight
just as infinite as
a new born baby
a fragrance of youth
no shades of grey
I made a child smile
made a grown up man cry
there was no trace of
no wink of
we only saw
blue skies


Sadness became my company
since the sun ran out on me
left my country
destroyed my home
no one there to kiss me goodbye
look me in the eye
ask me why
I went away.

You know, believe me,
I had no choice
my parents decided
paid the price
had to follow him
he was my husband
that's what they said.

I was sold like a cow
buried my life
under marriage vowels
wanted to go out and study
shining bright and intelligent

Instead of this
have to love this guy
prepare his meals
and please him
on a daily base
living in slavery

one day,
I promise myself,
I step out of
this suicide.


I’ll never translate your bathroom anymore
in different shades of a shining spectrum,
hide my ciggies for you under the chair
forbidden-for-me to sit on your balcony,
travel back and forth to you, fall asleep,
be your washing machine to talk to in dark hours,
discuss in detail all your lost loves,
accept daily insults about my inferiorities,
my mellow heart,
too loud laughs,
thrown out of your car,
punished for a seductive smile,
be woken up by the shouting voice
of your tormented soul,
listen to the cries of the young revolutionaries,
dying and dying during the executions
five ‘o clock every morning
never again caress your scars
console you
as my femininity
is looking for liberation.

Marian Eikelhof works in her daily life as a psychologist leading her own consultancy firm. Her work inspires her to write about the emotional aspects of existence. Not only does she depict feelings of love, intimacy and desire, but also a state of profound sadness and she criticizes dehumanisation. She has recently published the second edition of her collection of poems ‘een nurencontract met het leven’. She visited poetry festivals in Cuba in order to defend peace and has published poems in literary magazines like PTYX (Peru) and in the anthology ‘Salt Boundaries’, edited by Malak S. Soufi.

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