Poetry: Smruti Ranjan Mohanty

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty

When the body betrays,
mind feels alienated,
hands and legs do not listen to what I say,
eyes see a little, ears hardly hear,
when my blood considers me as a burden,
I remain no one's concern,
my own, not prepared to take care,
hesitate to carry the person
who carried them all along,
when there is none with me except
an unknown person,
when attending me becomes a compulsion,
where remain very little feeling and emotion,
when my pain and agony is at the pick,
the attitude of others strongly prick,
distress and sorrow too much to endure.
life becomes a burden, too much to bear,
Come my Lord! touch me, be with me,
hold me, hold my hand, bring me safely ashore.

My Father,
I lived a life far away from You,
a life lived in guilt,
in pursuit of passion and ambition.
A life wasted in running after Your riches and spellbinding grandeur,
in gratifying my senses,
geed, ego and selfishness.
I lived in a pseudo world with pseudo people,
thought gratification of senses,
life and its privileges as the ultimate

But my Lord! You are always in thought,
not even for a minute l lost sight of You
and Your name always been on my lips,
when awake and in my senses.
Wherever I had been, heaven or hell,
I invariably took You with me and never hided anything and my sins and virtues lay bare before you.

My Lord!
I accept my omissions and commissions.
But in this world of fading colours,
my love, passion, longing and feeling for You never lost its texture and I remained,
all through a loving son of Yours.
My Father!
I am not asking for anything else
Just do me a favour.
When my soul leaves the body,
be their in front, show me the way, guide me to the destination as You have been doing all along.
Let me leave this world chanting Your name,
let me embrace what people say death with a smile on lips, looking at your resplendent glaze, slowly coming out of the haze, losing me in You, in Your infinite bliss and consciousness.


On the wings of love,
let me fly to the land of dreams and passion,
where not reason, but reigns emotion,
where the heart speaks, and reason keeps mum.

Let me listen to the voice of the heart,
before I miss the bus and my reason takes me miles away from the real I that I am,
not only a man of dignity and honour
but a man with feelings, love, dreams, and emotion.

Too much of rationality
made me  irrational,
Insensitive to life and its beauty, to the extent,
I fail to recognise me, my likes and dislikes,
dreams and fancies.
The more meticulous I become,
the more alienated I am from me,
my emotions and feelings.

Life has become a tedious monotony,
and me a talking parrot in the golden cage.
Let me find the real me, my soul, my dreams, likes, whims, and fancies, so far eluding me.
Let me follow these, so dear to my heart,
with all my love and passion or else I may become another machine.
I don't want to be a machine working out of compulsion, twenty-four hours without love and hatred, feelings and involvement, 
but a man doing multiple roles with feelings and emotion.
Definitely not a machine, a human being I am,
will live and die for what I love, fancy and hold high

Very difficult to endure life,
breath in an atmosphere
where everything is patterned,
love, feelings, behaviour, interaction, expectation and reciprocation with hardly any space for innovation and improvisation.
Not so easy to live with reality,
with rationality guiding you at step each.
Better to have a break,
to take a flight to the world of dreams, fancies, and fantasies.
For a change let me do something
I enjoy, which my inner being accepts,
my heart reciprocates and lets me dance in ecstasy and joy


I love you!
You may not love me.
But you can't negate my love for you.
I don't need you to reciprocate.
Like me, my love is full and unalloyed,
never begs anything,
not even your love in return.
I am true to my love,
my exclusive possession.
No one, not even you,
can deprive me of my love,
my only treasure,
without which I am just a pauper.
I am happy and contented
like a bird in the golden cage,
like a king having his crown
on someone else's head.

I fancy a life with you,
a beautiful life, full of colours,
where there is no hypocrisy,
no ego, no selfishness, and vanity,
only love with all its beauty,
as pure as the silver moon,
and as fresh as early morning's dew.
Waiting for you since long.
Just look at me! I am there where I was,
playing with you, hide and seek, in your
mango orchard with the full moon overhead, running and dancing on the village road under the scorching heat of sun and pears of shower.
Look at the chemistry!
our heart and soul, body and mind
are in perfect harmony.
Smile a bit, my love!
that will be the day of my life

No regrets,
if you don’t feel me, feel my pulse,
the beats of my heart, the voice of my soul.
I will live and die in a corner,
with all my love and tear,
unseen and unheard.
You are in my dreams,
unless my dreams become reality,
let me remain in my dreams.
I will never let the night fade into morning and my dreams to harsh reality.
I will remain in my dream, which is more real than my pathetic reality.

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