Poems by Sahdev Luhar

1. “On My First Death”

I fought for years and years
Without shedding precious tears
And  I saw the puss oozing Ashwatthama
Sarcastically laughing at my blood-stained face

It was the sixteenth day of the war
I had killed those whom I loved
With my arrow-like words

Three thousand years are not yet over
I drew my sword to split-up this fear
And he made a demon’s laugh
Sprinkling the blood from his holed head

It burnt down my face and my thoughts
He taught me a lesson
And snatched away my tongue

Finally I accepted him as my lord
And had to put down my sword
He asked me to speak his tongue
And I gave a fire to my vocal cords

This was my first death
The death that killed me from within
It kills me every day and night

Now I can see thousands of Ashwatthama
Moving everywhere
And snatching of the tongues
Of those who could speak the truth.

2. “Those Predicted Days”

The sun had turned red in the sky
All looked puzzled with a question “why?”
All had gathered there to bid farewell
Noises stopped as if there was a knell

The boatman was washing His feet
He thought it as his feat
Not with waters but with tears
He also made all stop their cheers

“Dear brothers and sisters, I am blessed
Please follow my brother,” He addressed
All went back home with tears in their eyes
A group struck there feeling agonised

“Why didn’t He tell us a single word? 
Did he forget because we are third?”
They decided not to move from there
And waited for His return with eyes claire 

As if waters of Sariyu had stopped
He fought with demons to chop
Their wait was turning into tapascharya
He had killed Ravana for his bharya

Fourteen years had passed in a glace
Again all gathered up at Sariyu to dance
The boatman informed Him of this group
Who were overjoyed making whoop

He hurriedly rushed to such gems
And ask “why you did this my friends?”
“You ordered to only men and women
Eunuchs are neither man nor woman”

 He smiled at the innocence of their heart
And gave a boon for their art
“You will rule all in days to come”
All welcomed this with a bit on a drum

These are those days He predicted once
We are ruled by those who are the dunce.

3. “To the Mouths that Bite”

I stole heart from my father’s chest
And devoured it up with a zest
My eyes widened and widened my thought
It was the pleasure that dead heart had bought

I was not what I was now
Pride was roaring in me somehow
It bestowed upon me knowledge of three times
And I could hear those noises of chimes

He might have thought it against His wish
And asked for a promise with a brother’s kiss
“Don’t speak a single word unless someone asks
See everything and be a dumb are your tasks”

I consider it wise asking an eye for the eye
And claimed a promise before He says bye
“Gift a boon to us of life endless”
“Tathastu” said the fellow helpless 

I was overjoyed with two worthy prizes
Then it started giving me gloomy surprises
Where ignorance is bliss it is folly to be wise
My mind and hearts were full with some cries

I saw my elder’s ruin in the game of dice
I tried to forget all with sips of liquor thrice
I could see the forthcoming danger on my chaste wife
Though I could not speak, I had cut my tongue with knife

“Bring her; ask her to sit on my thighs”
All my pride disappeared in her sighs
I cursed my knowledge for years and years
It was a spear that continuously pierces 

What is the use of such knowledge that binds?
This is a question that everyday disturbs our minds
We all are Sahdev with a gift of foresight
But cannot speak fearing the mouths that bite.

4. “Nemesis’s Haze”

She descended into the deep cold lake
Putting off her clothes for bath’s sake
As if a lightning had fallen into the water
She attracted gazes of a silent plotter

She was a beauty all called her a nymph
He looked at her who was no more lymph
The water turned into cruel human hands
Her breasts were squeezed by unknown bands 

Before she could know what had happened
He had confirmed everything to get her trepanned
She made a heart tearing cry
She was raped and left to die

A child was born to her who looked beautiful
In his youth he made many girls pitiful
His prideful gestures invited a curse
And he fell in love with himself thus

Nemesis forced him and brought to lake’s shore
He saw himself in waters and roar
It was his mistake that made him a fool
His death dragged him into the pool

The nymph reminds me of our beloved mother
Who was looted and left to smother
We are the cursed offspring cling to self-praise
Still don’t understand Nemesis’s haze.

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