Nikita Soni: Figures of Thought: Collegiate Voices across Spaces

I Longer Am In Senses 

I no longer am in senses, 

No I'm not drunk. 

Oh no, I'm not on drugs either. 

I don't need them.

It's your memories that go high on me, 

Or maybe I go high on them, 

Either way I'm f**ked. 

It's that drink that I get drunked on

without even drinking that stays

still in your curvy eyes.

Just about to cascade.

It's that smile, that makes my heart

skip a beat every single time I see it. 

Ah yeah.. I no longer am in senses. 

My thoughts are too blurry

And the vision too scary.

Maybe I sound like a drunk poet, 

Or maybe all poets sound drunk? 

I'm high on the words that I once heard in your voice,

I'm high on those long-short messages you once sent,

I'm high on those 2AM calls you made,

hiding inside that velvet blanket of yours. 

I'm high on the stories you shared about your childhood scars.

I'm high on the way you talk about how your first love broke your heart. 

I’m high on that scent you wore when you’d come to see me. 

Oh and also .. ouch.. wait.. 

Now you're gone. Vanished. 

But you're alive in my poems

and all of my writings. 

And mind you, you can't leave from here.

For I've caged you, stitched you and 

trapped you in this parallel world of mine.

I live in this not-so real world almost all the time. 

It makes me chaotic but I also find peace here. 

It makes me hate the real life. 

Where you, no longer are present.

F**k it, yeah I longer am in senses//

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Author's Bio:  Nikita Soni is an undergraduate student at St. Gonsalo Garcia College, also pursuing Corporate Secretary Course from ICSI. Writing is her way of expressing things that she feels are not just for her, but for everyone and everything around her. It’s, for her, an escape with freedom to live characters and lives that she cannot practically live and be.

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Setu, June 2021