When I was an infant,
Unmindful and unobservant,
My brain was captured by you, a flashing invader.
I didn't know who you were but definitely an outsider.
I came to know about you at eight.
And asked my parents to illuminate.
You are a chronic brain disorder,
Which cause me recurring seizure.
You crawled inside and took control over me.
Flooded my emotions abruptly and unsettled my thoughts.
Jerked the body and distorted my vision.
Was this your mission?
Rapid heart rate and sweating,
Ah! The muscles tightening.
Insensible words and dizziness.
Why this kind of craziness?
Involuntary movement and loss of bladder.
Hallucinations and flushed face.
Blackouts and Numbness.
People call it all as madness.
I was unconscious yet conscious
With no warning at all, I felt myself fall.
The feeling of despair, thinking...
Why it happened to me at this age? It's not fair.
You gave me butterflies.
Yup! But in stomach.
It felt like a D├йj├а vu.
Do you know how this world sees me through?
Your trauma was not limited.
It further exceeded.
You took my moments away.
It affected my studies and schooling days.
I was being mistreated
and constantly ridiculed.
I tried to have a helping hand
But no one did their best to be my friend.
Why should I drop my head in shame?
People... It’s not a bad deed or a game.
In the shadows of day and night.
I'll be a looser if I wouldn't fight.
You attacked me again and again
After experiencing the pain.
But I observed, you low-down my stress.
Weird, isn't it? Its true, nevertheless!
I tried to understand the Almighty's plan,
To surrender me in the safe hand.
You are complex, you are partial
But sometimes beneficial.
You bewildered and belittled me.
But I understood your vulnerability.
Calmly and cleverly, I attacked you without any army.
Eventually, I got my victory.
I overpowered you, Yay!
Now, I will use you as a tool to pave my way.
I'm strong enough to control myself.
Learning and knowing my inner-self.
Thank you for depressing me.
You're the aid to my anxiety.
I'm happy for what I have been through.
What I'm now, it’s because of you.
But now, you're receiving rigorous depressant.
I can observe your obsolescent.
I'm in agony and suffering, not because of you.
But thinking that you'll not be with me anymore.
***
Against Clich├й
I
Since childhood we have been taught,
To be strong and not to burst out.
Respecting and not hurting girls,
Because they are weak pearls.
Aggressive, Decisive, why only we are?
Submissive, Passive, it's their avatar.
Where dominance is boy's rule,
Sensitivity is just for fool.
Steeping pain behind the smiles,
Pretending, we are emotionally stabilized.
In order to be a passionate lover,
It's not important to be muscular.
We aren't carefree and casual,
Incumbencies haunt, that's inevitable.
To be a gentleman,
I choose attributes of women too.
II
Cooking, Washing, Cleaning, why only we will do?
Can drive any vehicle, like they do.
Rather than being a princess behind the doors,
Want to be a queen who deals with the world.
Don't do this, don't do that.
Why so many barriers Dad?
Think what people will say,
They must change their mentality, shouldn't they?
Wearing floral prints and pink shade,
Is not my type, Black and Blue is my taste.
Dolls are for the showcase,
I like cycling, volleyball and skates.
Self-reliance, social boldness is all I seek,
Higher education is my need.
It might boil your insecurities,
Still, I want equal responsibilities.
***
Author's Bio: Saad Inshrah comes from Jamshedpur, Jharkhand and is a native of Hamzapur, Sherghati, Dist. Gaya, Bihar. Born on the 29th of January 2000, he is pursuing Bachelors in Commerce (Hons.) from Aligarh Muslim University, Aligarh. His areas of interests include Sufism, Literature, History of Religions & Languages, and Culture & Traditions. His leisure is devoted to a variety of aesthetic interests such as Photography, Creative Writing, and Digital Designing.
Much love and more power to you.
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