Incertitude, is it?

Shruti Singh

Image credits – the poet herself

Shruti Singh

1. One gossip girl

Why did she crib in her bath?

when the tap stopped gushing out warm water

midway 

knowing well some didn’t even get it

to douse their thirst

On a full stomach,

why did she sulk over the absence of dessert?

whilst aware of those deprived of a meal a day

She now was a tad apologetic

each time she did them

No one would tell her what to do

So, she thought by herself

She hunted her archives for the ugliest photo of hers

to put out in the world

For her,

this was atonement

while she itched to go back

to when she was oblivious

She opened then the page last read

of her monthly vanity magazine

***

2. Indifference

Swayamvara . . . Swamvar . . . 

woman in control . . . 

. . . man of her choice . . . 

Sati . . . Sita . . . Kunti . . . Draupadi . . .

Loopholes . . . 

She read further.

. . . only saw them face to face on the D-day . . . 

. . . mandatory to garland the winner . . . rejection is prohibited.

. . . suitors . . . any age . . . married even . . . with existing children.

. . . choice influenced . . . by family’s preference.

. . . cannot marry the one she loves . . .

Often, . . . a strategic alliance.

“I can’t find one decent theme for my essay,”

bellowed her frustration

“What is the topic?” enquired mother from inside 

the ajar bathroom door.

She stalled a bit,

“Women empowerment.”

“Oh,” the mother exhaled,

“You can find many articles if you give some time.”

The daughter felt it best,

to offer her quest a rest

And to go about her usual

of talking, laughing

and daydreaming

The women of the house continued their indifference.

***

3. Lungs

Happily,

he had started joining his building kids 

whenever was their time to play football

or even Kho – Kho.

Deliberately,

he had started climbing his three-floor stairs,

as residents wondered 

at his new-found interest in fitness

as if, trying to prove something.

Himself,

he had switched to

buying groceries from the market,

resting his delivery apps.

Suddenly,

he had started doing house chores

without anyone telling him to,

raising eyes at home.

Rushing for privacy,

he coughed and coughed

and then lots more

until he was almost sure he was breathless.

He couldn’t tell anyone

the smoke he had inhaled 

for seven-tenths of his years,

had found a place cosy

in his body

and refused to come out

till this life of his prevailed

No one could know

what he had

Stage, last.

Cancer, lung.

***

4. Ways of protraction

The time dilated

when there was bliss.

The jaw protruded

as a response to her awkwardness.

The shoulders initiated an abduction of ninety degrees 

to complete that hug,

as she imagined the man 

she had come to like.

The longing prolonged . . . 

The distance between 

farther than ever.

She was being called incessantly

to get up

But she, 

she wanted to protract

some more

herself with her mind

on her bed of comfort

Where she could think 

of all the different types of protracting

The time dilated . . . 

the longing prolonged.

***

5. Waiting periods

They think I'm wasting 

when I am waiting

But I'm also thinking then

And thinking fast

And good

On bus stops, in bank lines, on ticket counters

People will not trouble you

when you are waiting

Because they believe you are already suffering

by waiting in line  

But I am enjoying

for I am thinking

Because there is just noise from strangers

Because I can just keep standing or sitting 

while waiting,

and think

***

Bio: Shruti Singh (Bangalore, India)

shrutisingh23.ss@gmail.com 

+91 9920562456

Hailing from the East, having lived in the West, and currently employed in the South of India, Shruti Singh is a dentist, a pharmaceutical marketeer, and a writer. 

Her writing mirrors the language of her intrigue in people, their behaviour, and their psyche. In the five poems of ‘Incertitude, is it?’ one can find a sense of truth reflected through her sentient observations and perceptions.

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Setu, October 2022