Showing posts with label J.A. Guynn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label J.A. Guynn. Show all posts

The Potato Chip Incident- J.A. Guynn

Bio: Living in the Houston, TX area, J.A. Guynn started writing in 2015. He writes sci-fi and fantasy with occasional trips into literary fiction. Currently, J.A. is unpublished but working on the Branded trilogy, an epic high fantasy story. Plans are to publish Book 1: Skald this year.

My eyes jumped, repeatedly, from the potato chip pinched between my thumb and index finger to the carnage now dominating the room. Red blood-spattered odd patterns on the wall, body parts of various sizes scattered about, and a disturbing amount of yellow-green ooze spread slowly from near the center of the room. I struggled to make sense of what happened.
It started simply. Craving a snack and knowing the vending machines had recently been restocked, I set out. After several wrong turns through the maze-like hallways, I found my prize… a bag of chips. Munching on the way back to my desk, I never suspected how bad it could be to open the wrong door.
More focused eating than watching my surroundings, I stepped through the door. Someone cleared their throat, startling me. I looked up to see four men in white coats, three with their backs to the door and one turned toward me; NASA credentials easily visible.
“You aren’t authorized for this area,” he barked.
About to apologize and back out of the room, I caught sight of what was behind him; three beings, each about one and a half meters tall, with dark green skin that glistened under the fluorescent lighting.
They were vaguely humanoid in shape except lacking obvious arms. I stood there, mouth open and potato chip in hand, as one of the beings moved toward me in an odd, sliding motion. As it passed the line of men I noticed it left a streak of clear viscous fluid on the floor.
I held out my hand. “Potato chip?”
A thin appendage darted from near the top of the creature’s head, wrapped around the salty snack, and yanked it from me. I grabbed another chip to demonstrate eating it. Flaps of skin on, what I assumed to be, the being’s neck started to vibrate. A noise somewhere between static and screaming filled the room.
I wasn’t ready for what came next.
Another appendage shot out, grabbed the bag from my hand, and whipped it toward the wall. Potato chips flew everywhere, several of them landing on the strange beings. The creatures joined in a shocking symphony as I noticed their skin discoloring everywhere a chip stuck to them.
“Everyone out! Alert the decon squad!” someone shouted, as we rushed toward the door.
I managed to make it out before something grabbed the back of my shirt. I looked back into the terrified eyes of the NASA researcher.
As he lost his grip on my shirt, his priority shifted from escaping to securing the room. The door slammed, muffling the shrill static-like scream now joined by the shrieks of people in mortal terror.
I ran, looking for a phone, or a weapon, or a person … anything that might help. After several turns down endless halls. I spotted a red phone, with no keypad, on the wall. Grabbing the handset, I ranted, “Help! They need help! I have no idea where I am, but they need help in there!”
Slumping to the floor, I breathed heavily while trying to grasp what was happening. It seemed like an eternity before a small squad of security officers appeared.
“What’s going on?” one of them asked.
I flinched before looking at him. “A room, nearby, I think. Four men… umm… researchers, with three other… things. There was a… a… a… umm… misunderstanding, I guess. One of the things freaked out. I think it killed everyone.”
“Where?”
Shrugging, I did my best to explain. “I don’t remember exactly. I took a wrong turn. I… I’m lost. All I wanted was some chips.” I looked at my hand, noticed I was still holding a potato chip, and giggled.
Someone slapped me. A pair of hands grabbed my shirt and hauled me off the floor. “This isn’t funny. Get it together. Retrace your steps.”
I nodded vigorously then shivered, adrenalin wearing off. Everything looked the same. Stark walls and flat white doors conspired against me, forcing me to guess where I’d been. I was about to give up but noticed an odor and headed toward it.
As I moved, the smell became more pronounced and offensive. The guards, noticing the stench, murmured behind me. I was too focused on finding the room to pay attention to what they said.
I noticed a closed door with the handle turned down. It had to be the right door. I pointed. “In there.”
The lead guard approached the door, baton in hand, and pushed. “Something’s blocking it.” He motioned for me to move back then pointed to two men, “You left side, you right. Everyone else, fan out behind me. If anything comes out, beat it down.”
Backing up a few steps, he charged and planted his boot near the door handle. It moved slightly and the odor became an almost physical presence. Continuing his forward motion, he bashed into the door. It opened wider. Whatever rested against it made slurping sound sliding across the floor.
The men with a clear view of the room immediately vomited.
The lead guard choked out “clear” before he threw up, stumbling back with his eyes clenched shut.
I took a deep breath and summoned the courage to approach the door, to see the aftermath.
I’ll go to my grave with two things etched in my brain. One, the sight of all that gore. The other is the first thought that entered my mind. “The incident report I will be forced to file will start with a very specifically worded warning against giving potato chips to unknown creatures.”


The Extremity of the Extreme- J.A. Guynn

Bio: Living in the Houston, TX area, J.A. Guynn started writing in 2015. He writes sci-fi and fantasy with occasional trips into literary fiction. Currently, J.A. is unpublished but working on the Branded trilogy, an epic high fantasy story. Plans are to publish Book 1: Skald this year.
  
“Hey, Hey everybody! It’s Double-B, Baxter Bainmen, here at the third annual Surf with Sharks championship. I want to welcome you home viewers to Black Sand beach. The conditions are great, clear sky, a stiff breeze coming off the water, and great waves . . . plus the area is teeming with sharks. Several species of various sizes have been attracted thanks to all the hard work put in by the chumming crew. Competition’s set to start in about an hour. Some of the surfers are already warming up but we have a special treat, an interview with last year’s runner up. He’s going to try to explain this sport to our new viewers and give his professional take on what he expects to see on the water. I’m pleased to introduce Dwayne Kohola.”
            “Double-B you are looking great today. I’m really pumped to see everyone out here to watch me and my competitors do our thing. You folks at home have no idea what you are missing . . . it really is a party out here.”
            “Dwayne, thanks for taking some time out of your preparation schedule to talk with us. Can you explain why you compete in this sport, which many have said is about the same as delayed suicide?”
            “Certainly Baxter. This is, honestly, the single most extreme thing anyone can do without facing certain death. I mean the whole concept of extreme sports has been around a long time but it really didn’t become mainstream until the X Games. Then guys like Tony Hawk and Jamie Bestwick became household names. Shaun White became a crossover hit with Gold medals at the winter Olympics on his snowboard. Surfing is basically the godfather of skateboarding, or sidewalk surfing if you’re really old-school, and it’s about time someone took it to the extreme.”
            “Well sure, those are all excellent points but why do you compete in something that could literally cost you a limb or even end up with you being eaten alive?”
            “Why does anyone do anything remotely dangerous? It’s the thrill. Look, I’ve snowboarded five of the seven summits. I haven’t done Vinson Massif on the South Pole, yet. The plan for that one is to kite-snowboard to it, make the ascent, snowboard down, and kite-snowboard back out. I haven’t done Everest, either. It’s the biggest and I want to do both faces. People die just trying to get to the top of Everest once. I plan to do it twice. No one else has done it yet. Someone has to be the first. I’ve decided that someone is going to be me. Really I’m in more danger on any of those mountains than I am in the water today.”
            “So, no fear of being eaten, none at all?”
            “I’ve surfed all my life, all over the world. I’ve been on my board and bumped by a shark or two. It happens. Do I have no fear? Everyone alive has some amount of fear, a little fear is healthy. A little fear keeps you on your toes, makes you aware of your surroundings. When it comes to sharks, I just understand I’m in their element. They are the apex predator and I’m invading their home.”
            “Sure, makes sense, but how do you respond to the critics of the sport? Just a month ago, two of your competitors were put in the hospital. One of them will probably never walk without aid ever again. What do you say to the people who claim this is just too far over the line of reason?”
            “How many people will die in a car crash today? This is the third year for this competition and we’ve had one fatality. What happened to Gene Patrick and, especially, Renee Williams were bordering on freak accidents. Thanks to companies like Hyperflex and Body Glove we’ve got state of the art protective gear. All of my competitors know the risk but the thrill, the rush makes it all worth it.”
            “Ok, ok. I won’t take too much more of your time. Just one more question, what should we expect to see today? Anything special planned?”
            “Well, I’m not giving any of my secrets away. I think it’s going to be a tough competition. I haven’t won anything all year. I’ve been really close so I’m hungry… if you’ll pardon the bad pun. I think Stevie Johns is going to try a couple of new tricks, if he can catch the right wave. He and I are really good friends. I think he’s got something up his sleeve.
“Bon Smith’s been solid the past few months. If the waves go his way he could beat us all. Today’s just about picture perfect. You never know who’s going to be inspired, step up, and take everyone’s breath away. I will say this. If I catch a good wave and get the right shark in the right position you will see something that’s never been tried before… at least not in competition.”
            “Sounds like something we should all watch for. I know you need to go get your thoughts together Dwayne so I’ll let you go. Thanks again for giving all of us some insight into this, the newest and most extreme of extreme sports.”
            “It was my pleasure Double-B. Hopefully you and I will meet up for a winner’s interview before the day is over.”

            “Look forward to it. We’ve got a few minutes before the competition cranks up. We’re going to take a short break for some commercials. When we come back you’ll be treated to highlights from last year’s championship then the real fun begins as this year’s surfers hit the water to try for the Surf with Sharks Championship trophy.”