Poetry: Morve Roshan K.

Roshan K. Morve

Different Feeling

The black day was of my birth day
On the occasion of my 13th birth day!
I wake up on the bed,
Something wrong was on that day
then understand that I born as he
But I am afraid!
I am not he, I am neither she nor shim

My mind is not allowing me to dream
A dream about my being
I go to washroom
Realize that there is something has changed …
Either I born with wrong body or with wrong feeling

My mother scolds me that not to do domestic work
go out and have fun but I cant run
now how can I turn

Where is my world!! The world where there is no he nor she
Let me allow to go in this world!!!
Where I feel my people and my own world
No one will be there where they cant align me
But I find that there is no world for me on this earth


When do you understand the difference,
The difference between him and her
The psychology and the sexuality of person is different,
Now the situation is dubious
It is too late… too late for the acceptance …
Too late for parents ….

I have born with different body
and having different feelings
My appearance is disappear from the earth
Oh my dear!!! I come from the heaven
why I am finding the identity on the earth

I choose this day to die,
I do not want to cry,
If some calls me he or she, I feel shy,
Now, I do not want to call neither she nor he
The language is so biased then world too

The people are not mine,
The world is another for me
There is no space … let me allow to leave this place

There is he, and there is a word she
but people confused about what to call
I feel it would better they won’t call
I could not sleep from ages, now let me take a long sleep

Wait

Oh my Dear Scientist! My chemical lover!
I was awaited…awaited for four hundred years …
Waiting for his call, and as usually, I was eager to listen his melodious voice
His voice makes me so intimate but this is for only two hours…
For these two hours, I was so excited to see you on the screen
But I was wrong because he was busy
I was living in a different dream and I entered into the dream of love
I thought he would call me and we will have a real love in our real life
I was waiting for his knock … a real call to meet him and hug him
Let me accept, but my life is only on skype and whatspp
Daily chat and video calls make me so irritating now
Let me dream about to meet you how?
Oh My Lover! Listen my ring… my pure heart is calling you …
I love to see you in my arms not on skype screen
I have been waiting to for long …
Many times, I get angry and get frustrated
So blocking and deleting I started…
I know, I can delete though on my mobile, but what about my mind
I dreamed about him, he will meet me for giving a tight hug
I was sure, one day will come and he will realise my love is a drug
But he does not understand how much I love him
Even he does not want to know how much I love him
I was waiting for him, waiting for long
But time does not come and I was lost
The platonic love will take my breath and one day I will die and I will lost
I can’t live in this technological world, please come and give me a hug

Shim

I have changed my existence
People say, this is because I am mentally disorder person
I am sure that this is neither a disease nor a problem
Only a natural feeling not an artificial one
The words are reverberated

The power is in you, the same power is in me too
Though, I feel impuissant and you feel proud 


Still there are binaries,
In between you and me
You deny the other, I deny myself
Hark me!! Otherwise, the quarrel starts in between you and me, me and me


The reason of my existence has been denied from many year and year
About me, do not have a care and fear
How many years, I have been digesting me lachrymal
When will you understand, Oh my Dear!

Where is my home? From my childhood
I have left my home and still do not know, where to stay

In this over population,
I cannot beget but I can adopt
Erne likes to fly, but feathers cut ere start to fly
Though, I will try to resurgent
The sky ether, still my life is tenebrous
The lucent has gone for forever

At the end, the body has missed … how will retrieve my origin…
There are only two retrenchments – male and female ….

Setu, March 2019

Morve Roshan K.

Morve Roshan K. has been working as a lecturer, teacher and translator. At present, she has been awarded a PhD degree from the Centre for Comparative Literature and Translation Studies, Central University of Gujarat, India in 18^th November 2018. Also, she has awarded M. Phil degree from the same university and the centre in 2014. For M. Phil and PhD, she got awarded UGC Non-Net Fellowship. She has completed a project as an assistant researcher, she has completed a project on gender rural development by GIDR, Gandhinagar. Her last employment was at Children’s University, Gandhinagar as a guest lecturer Assistant Professor. Her expertise areas are African literature, post-colonial literature, gender studies, British literature, women studies, critical theories, diaspora studies, folklore Studies, English, comparative literature, and Islamic Studies. She has taught at Gujarat State Government School (taught English, in primary and middle School) as a volunteer for three years. In 7^th July 2017, she got invitation for delivering a lecture by National Translation Mission, Mysore, Karnataka, India. She is the editor of Culture and Heritage Journal, Rajshahi, Bangladesh. However, she has shouldering the responsibilities as a core editorial team member of Café Dissensus (Spain based) international magazine. She is famous as a poetess, novelist, editor, translator and writer. She has a great contribution to edit and translate books from English to Marathi language. As a chief editor and translator, she has published 74 Children’s Literature books from Emesco Press, Hyderabad, India. She took part actively with her research works in many international symposiums and conferences. Also, she has presented papers in the collaboration of many countries: Bangladesh, Brunei Darussalam, Maldives, UK and Uzbekistan. She is familiar in an international arena for her research with high impact factors.

She is co-author of books: The Criticism of Annihilation and Compassion in Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights (1847) (Winshield Press Book Publication 2018) and co-edited book Identity Negotiations and Marginality: The Theoretical Perspectives in the Contemporary Age (Winshield Press Book Publication 2018). She has published 15 articles in international journals. Also, her 2 poems and a short story have published by reputed magazines (USA based) and international Journals. Morve Roshan K. has presented 24 papers in national and international conferences, seminars and symposiums. She got 9 travel grants from national and international government and other institutional organizer’s bodies. Her interview (The interview taken by Mehedi Hasan and Dr Md Habibur Rahman) on “The History of Bangladesh” has published in the Daily Ittefaq Newspaper Press, Dhaka, Bangladesh, July 2017.

Email: morve_roshan@rediffmail.com / morveroshan2@gmail.com Contact/Whatsapp: 447448281310

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